My internal radars go off when I am sent news articles on healthy eating that have nothing to do with me. On Social Media, I’ve done my best to try to adjust the flow of promotions and articles having to do with weight loss by going low carb, low gluten, or fasting. It might work for others, but these are not for me.
I go off on a rant. Then I hit the laptop and keep working on my book.
Yet I admit that every so often, I see something that is so all-sorts-of-wrong, I can’t contain my response to something I wrestle with internally. I have to go off on a rant. And so, I do. I go off on a rant, and then I hit the laptop and keep working on my book, a chapter at a time.
I’m working on Chapter 12, and now there are only three more chapters to go before I am done with my rough draft for the book, Making Food Fun Again. I’m caught with this thought that I never want to write something that sounds like I know exactly what you should eat, especially since everyone is so different, and more obviously because I’m not writing from a place of being a nutritionist or an dietician.
And now, I find myself sensitive. Just like I imagine my future readers to be. Sensitive, moody, and eager for hope. I’m writing as fast as I can.
I’m reading Susan Musgrave’s, “A Taste of Haida Gwaii,” and caught on to a motto she has quoted more than once.
We offer you a choice. Your choice is to take it or leave it.”
In a fine-dining restaurant in the Canadian Rockies, it came down to that quote as I sent the waiter back to the chef to inquire about yet one more possibility in my quest to order a three-course meal that complied to my food allergic, autoimmune protocol, medically-necessary gluten free diet.
The answer that came back was not surprising. The chef was reticent to substitute anything, as he had painstakingly created and set the ingredients. It would be akin to asking a conductor of an original score to remove individual notes because the a particular listener did not want them included.
Other than the gluten, dairy, and nuts, my other requests came down to a “take or leave it” approach. I could take the dish as is, and after the plate was delivered, I could eat the foods or remove what I could not eat, or I could leave it — that is, not order it at all.
Not wanting to be trouble, I took the best of the first choice, and my husband received offers from me for everything I could not eat.
I think people are pretty shocked to hear such a story. But there are many sides. I can imagine that a restaurant such as the one we selected for being one of the best in town attracts many out-of-town guests, some with legitimate allergies, and others with what I would call preferences rather than true intolerances that cause GI distress. If a chef were to accommodate every single request for substitutions and omissions as true allergies, it could be very challenging for his or her staff to accommodate.
Someone like myself comes along, and I have a list so long, the waitstaff often have to make multiple trips to talk with a chef just to get a basic order, and then there’s the checking and the double checking.
I do some checking too. I check to make sure I have my Epi Pen, that I’ve listen all my main food allergies, and that I’ve asked the right questions about sauces and any unlisted ingredients.
Everyone seems uneasy.
Do I know when I should take it, and when I should leave it?
Sometimes, I only know I should have left it after the fact, when I am crying in pain at home in a bathroom, vomiting my guts out. Other times, I know in 24 -72 hours, when I’m in the hospital, my guts inflamed and my blood pressure so low I can hardly walk without assistance.
How can food be fun again when the stance of the restaurant is “take it or leave it”? All I can say is, it was a relief to encounter so many places that were more than willing to accommodate me during my fourteen days on the road.
And I’m also glad to be cooking in my kitchen again, even if it is just an InstantPot meal with allium free curry powder.
To be more specific, Microsoft Word on my beloved Macbook crashed, and I lost the first chapter of the book I’m writing. I had been warned that MS Word for OS was less stable than Pages, and prone to crashing. The lure when hearing that Word is the number one industry standard tool for online publishing fueled my compulsion to try writing in Word for Mac OS for the first time. Other than that, I’ve only ever used Word for Mac to pump out a resume, CV, or document that required it, such as a legal service.
So now, I’m contemplating writing my book on Google Docs (auto save, never lost a document there) or on Pages, and reformating when the time comes to transfer it to an online publishing tool to push it out.
I suppose that because I hadn’t gotten very far (just a couple of chapters worth of text, really), I am not heartbroken. A 14-day roadtrip percolates a lot of material for its own storywell of eating foibles, near misses, and triumphs. As with many losses, I can move on.
MS Word ate my initial thoughts, but I’m sure to burp up some new ones about stinging nettles found in the forests of Haida Gwaii and the treatment of arthritis and joint inflammation.
For now, just let me snuggle my cat for a moment. Our pets don’t solve our problems, but they sure do make it easier to take them on.
When people think about vacation and eating, I imagine they envision what I used to fantasize about: food porn that makes your mouth water long before the meal reaches the table, scents wafting in from a kitchen while you sip an Argentinian Malbec in anticipation of that medium-rare steak, the flinging of crumbs from your mouth as you bite into freshly baked slices of sourdough bread, and decadent chocolate flowing over a delicate ensemble of wafer, lavender ice cream, and ice berries.
Now, as a person with Autoimmune Disease who experiences medical crisis when the smallest of errors is committed in those same scenes, tales about food on the road read like a horror movie, cued with edge-of-seat moments and relieved sighing when danger is averted.
Was that a green onion hiding under those rice grains? Did they use corn starch to thicken the sauce? Is there anyone who can feed me more than berries for dessert?
The big question I’ve been trying to answer is in the title of the book I’m writing — how is food fun again for the millions of people who live a “free from” lifestyle, including scent free hygiene products and smoke-free air? If your food doesn’t look like it’s filled with unicorn sprinkles and Instagram-able ingredients (salt, fat, sugar), is it, by definition, fun?
And when you’re on the road for two weeks, as I was from August 27 to Sept 9 2018 for a vacation with my husband, is that food exciting when it isn’t presented and piled, one ingredient on top of the other, the way everyone else’s food is presented, stuck together with butter, milk, syrup, gluten, beans, or nuts? Is the point of fun food to mimic what we once could eat, such as eating gluten free cereals? Or is the point of fun food something entirely different?
Do we become less grateful when that Wagyu Alberta raised steak comes without a BBQ rub or sauce, or do we become more grateful that the flavor of that same steak comes through an extremely minimalist arrangement, missing the usual dollop of mashed potatoes, butter, or cheese?
Is the food less fun because it looks different on the plate, or more fun when that food produces a feeling of satiation and delight within the person, not just on the plate?
All I know is that when I communicated more clearly that I wasn’t interested in eating processed gluten free food, the focus of my meals were clean, simple, natural foods. And what chef, in a fine restaurant or at home, is opposed to that? None that I met. In fact, everyone seems to relax when I steer clear of anything “gluten friendly”. Instead, we know that berries, rice, and steak are gluten free. No worries there.
And when there are no worries or concerns, that’s when the fun begins.
Really. After a long hiatus away from trying to write a book, I sat at my desk (my official writing space that screams, “This is where you write”) and wrote for thirty minutes.
It’s the tyranny of the Shitty First Draft. Anne Lamott writes about the Shitty First Draft in the book, “Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life), and everything in me resonates with her words.
First, I want to delete everything I wrote. It sucks. Worse, it doesn’t sound like me. I tried to sound authoritative, educated, formal. I’m scared I’ll sound unintelligent, or worse, that I’ll come off not only as unclever, but as a dick.
Yes, I too, encounter Resistance in the form of Imposter Syndrome and Perfectionism. And yes, I quote Steven Pressfield’s chapter in, “The War of Art”: Resistance is Bullshit
The funny thing is, that short writing session was probably good start. Why? Because at least I’m writing. Just before then, I wasn’t writing anything but blog posts and Social Media posts. Writing a book was an idea up until the second that I typed, “Introduction”.
Yet, I wasn’t thinking about my main goal, the one that I share with Dr. Michelle Mazur — “Communication changes the world.” I had lost connection with that all-important premise to my writing. I’m so grateful that she wrote about how she reconnected with her own three-word rebellion. I am in need of doing the same.
It is like a Mission Statement.
Really, what I want to do is change the world with what I write about making food fun again, eating real food that is full of yum and devoid of yuck. And I really don’t think anyone will want to read a book that is full of unnecessary jibberish and too many stats and stiffly formal words spoken in an academic voice. And I haven’t even gotten to the phase of killing my little darlings.
I am hungry to write. And I am surrounded by people who can look well fed, but are starving for real food. My writing will be unpacking the behavioral keys that unlock our “why” behind that chosen starvation (especially IF it has little to do with food instability, geolocation, and/or income).
In September 2017, I attended my second International Food Bloggers Conference, this one held in Sacramento, CA. With all the workshops, breakout sessions, field trips, and keynote speeches about the food blogging industry, you would think that home cooking is well and alive.
Actually, home cooking is dying. It’s not dead, but it is seriously in threat. As it is, Americans spend the least amount of time shopping for, preparing, and cooking food compared to other societies around the world. That doesn’t mean we don’t at home. It does mean that we have changed our habits around eating to include foods that are pre-made, pre-packaged, and maybe only one step away from MRE’s (Meals Ready to Eat) or “Just Add Water, Heat and Serve.”
For a great article that summarizes the studies behind the slow death process of home cooking, take a look at Epicurious writer David Tamarkin’s post that includes a reference to Audie Cornish’s NPR interview where he talks about the the dying of home cooking.
I wrote two lengthy blog posts on the topic of the Betty Crocker syndrome on a blog called MyAllergyAdvocate.wordpress.com, and so I don’t want to revisit these posts here. But I mention them to say that while we have the food industry to blame for their targeted marketing to women in particular to convince them that the least time spent in the kitchen is the smartest approach to nourishing one’s family, we have only ourselves — and our health — to look to in terms of our response to the war that is being fought over what goes into our grocery stores.
We either buy the junk and keep funding the food producers who make convenience foods that keep us sick or operating at sub-optimal levels, or we demand more by only buying natural, real-food, and low-processed options that are nutrient-dense, and free of the yucky stuff, excess sugars, fats, and sodium, cheap fillers, and common inflammatory ingredients.
As for me, home cooking must not die. If it does, so shall I, because all that other stuff would slay my gut.
The book writing is underway. And in order to keep Resistance at bay, I don’t have much to say, other than I’d like to complete this book in a little under 30 days, as much of the material has already been written in one form or another.
The title, “Making Food Fun Again,” has been the tagline for my business, My Allergy Advocate, since January 2016. It came out of a group coaching session led by speech coach and entrepreneur Dr. Michelle Mazur, when she was asking me a series of questions related to the my unique message to the world.
The book title points to where I am today, not where I started. Five years ago, food was anything but fun. Instead, food was killing me, one bite at a time.
The rest of this blog is dedicated to the writing of a book about changing your relationship to food and shifting your mindset away from the unconscious grab-and-go eating culture that is not only hurting those who are sensitive to food, but also those who’s bodies are slowly but surely showing the negative impact that comes from excess fat, sugar, sodium, emulsifiers and preservatives, and nutrient-poor fillers.
For now, that is all.
Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton